Dear me ... final Part

I am very nostalgic about those early days and I am very sentimental about my possessions from those days. I have still kept my first house, my first car, even my first motorcycle.

My first car was a 1956 model Fiat which is colloquially called a īdukkar Fiatī. I have preserved it in mint condition. I still use it sometimes. When I have to go to the beach for a jog at four thirty in the morning I even use the motorcycle.

Going to the beach early every morning is one habit that has remained with me all my life. Many times, on my way I pass teenagers going home from parties in their cars with loud music blaring.
Otherwise, the world is very silent at that time. I enjoy the silence.

I go to a place which is a two-hour drive from Mumbai, where the sea and the mountains meet. There is a small cave in which I spend the afternoon relaxing. I take my tiffin along but I have to hang it from the ceiling because the water washes into the cave. Every time I go, I have to buy a new "chatai" (mat), because it gets completely wet by evening and I have to leave it behind.

My driver Anand sits in the car while I walk into the mountains.
I take two cell phones and give him one. So if in case I lose my way I call him on the phone and ask him to honk the horn so that I can follow the sound back to the car.
I discovered this place by accident, much before I joined the film industry. Since I was young, I have had this habit of taking long walks in the wilderness, and marking crosses on trees to find my way back. Itīs very challenging to learn how to survive on your own in the wild, with only nature as your teacher.
I have learnt a lot from nature which has helped me in my personal life as well as in my career. To date, I have used only natural medicines like herbs or ayurvedic prescriptions. I have never used allopathic medicines. I think we can all learn a lot by watching the nature. When I am alone with the sea, or the mountains, I am most at ease with life.

I am an intensely private person. I have no friends in the film industry. One of my two close friends is Vicky Oberoi, a builder, and the other is Ajay Virmani, a businessman who lives in Canada.
I feel more comfortable with people who are not in the film industry. Every Sunday morning, I play volleyball with some Punjabi friends who are not from the film industry. We make bets and whoever loses has to pay for lunch.

I donīt believe in talking about my personal life for the simple reason that if I talk about it, it wonīt be remain personal any more. People ask me why I never speak out about the woman in my life. But why should I talk about someone I have loved deeply? Itīs personal.
So I have preferred to remain silent. But now I have decided to at least reply to the allegations made against me.
It hurts me that I am more in the news for my socalled affairs than for my films. My Casanova image is completely media-created. And I find it hard to understand why I am branded a Casanova. I donīt go out of my way to portray myself as one, neither do I enjoy it. I am not the incorrigible flirt I am made out to be. I am a normal human being who falls in love an has heartbreaks.
I have had affairs in my life but that does not mean I am a Casanova. I have fallen in love. And I have been honest about it and admitted to Pooja and Raveena, and now Shilpa. I love Shilpa. And when I am in love, I am loyal.
About marriage, I canīt say yet. I feel I am not ready for it yet. I want to concentrate on my career for now. Besides, there is a Chinese saying: If you want the Gods to laugh, you must talk to them of your plans for the future. So I prefer not to make any plans. I would like to have the last laugh.

I do know that I am going trough a low phase as far as my career is concerned. But then, this is not the first time that I am experiencing this.
So I am not unduly depressed about it.

My problem was that when I joined films there was no one to guide me. I was complete outsider and there was no one to tell me whom to meet and what kind of films to choose.

It was very difficult for me. I had to learn from my own mistakes. Now I am consciously making an effort to work with good directors, and choose good scripts and good roles. Money is not very important to me now.
I wonīt be a hypocritic and say that money was never important to me. It was earlier, and there was a stage in my career when I signed on films just for money. But now I have earned enough money and I am looking for roles where I can get a chance to perform and prove my talent.

From success and failure I have learnt a lot. Today, the most important people in my life are my parents. Over the years I have learnt that friends come and go. Only your parents love you unconditionall.